Alysia Kehoe

Alysia Kehoe

Executive Coach
Certified Coach Strategist
Engagement Specialist

Here are more Coaching Skill suggestions from Pam McLean, Ph.D of The Hudson Institute of Coaching, my coaching certification alma mater’s director; in a recently written article , ‘ASK MORE, TELL LESS’. 

Edgar Schein, well-known organizational psychologist puts a bright light on this same topic in his latest book Humble Inquiry. He makes a case for the power of ‘humble inquiry’, especially in upward communication patterns when he writes: 

Subordinates know lots of things that would make the place work better or safer that they for various reasons withhold. 

If you survey them and ask ‘why aren’t you telling your boss what is really going on, they’ll say:

 1) he shoots the messengers,

 2) I used to tell him but he never really took any interest in it, or 

3) I tell him but they never fix anything so I no longer have any incentive to tell.’ 

Now, if I’m right and that is the problem, the only way to cure that is for the boss to change his behavior, to go to that subordinate and engage in humble inquiry.  

 ‘Ask more and tell less’ is a way to increase your questions-to statements ratio or engaging in humble inquiry.  Consider some of benefits to shifting your stance from tell to ask. 

Big Hint / Idea from Alysia:

Here are some reasons why Asking More works versus telling :

THE VALUE OF GOOD AND WELL-TIMED QUESTIONS

 • Challenges mental frameworks 

• Encourages new thinking and new possibilities 

• Stimulates imagination 

• Empowers others 

• Validates and supports others

Try it out and write down what you would do differently:

  • The Situation – Did you tell or ask?
  • Results?
  • Next Time, would you handle it the same or do something different?